What does it mean to advocate for our health when a symptom is dismissed, a test result is called reassuring, or the care we need is hard to access? For OB-GYN Dr. Thaïs Aliabadi and women’s advocate Mary Alice Haney, the starting point is education. We need enough information to ask useful questions, understand our options, and participate in decisions with our clinicians.
Their approach is not about assuming every doctor is wrong or treating every concern as a crisis. It is about taking persistent symptoms and personal risk seriously. Dr. Aliabadi’s own breast cancer experience makes the distinction clear: a concerning risk assessment led her to seek further care despite reassuring conversations, and cancer was later found in the breast that had not prompted the original biopsy.
This interview explores what we can learn from that experience, how to prepare for appointments, and where self-advocacy meets the practical limits of access and cost.
Medical note: The information below is educational. We should discuss symptoms, screening, risk assessments, and treatment choices with a qualified medical professional who knows our circumstances.
Table of Contents
- What Health Self-Advocacy Actually Means
- Breast Cancer Risk: What Dr. Aliabadi’s Experience Teaches Us
- How We Can Make Appointments More Useful
- Why Women’s Health Questions Can Be Hard to Get Answered
- The Perspective Behind the Advocacy
- A Practical Next Step
What Health Self-Advocacy Actually Means
What does it mean to be our own health advocate?
We advocate for ourselves when we communicate what is happening, make sure our concerns are understood, and ask what comes next. That may mean describing a symptom clearly, requesting an explanation of a test result, asking whether a change in our history affects our risk, or seeking another opinion when an important question remains unanswered.
Self-advocacy does not require us to arrive with a diagnosis. If we have persistent bloating, headaches, a change in how we feel, or another concern, we can say what we have noticed and ask how the clinician is evaluating it. We can also ask what should prompt a follow-up. The goal is a working partnership, not a contest over who is right.
We are better equipped to participate when we understand the terms being used. Knowing what a result does and does not show, why a clinician recommends waiting, and what alternatives exist can turn a vague reassurance into an informed decision.
Why is it sometimes difficult to speak up at a medical appointment?
We may have only a short time to explain a complicated problem. We may also be worried about seeming demanding, particularly if we have already been told that our symptoms are due to stress or emotion. When a clinician sounds certain, it can feel easier to accept the answer than to ask another question.
Yet feeling dismissed does not tell us what is causing a symptom. Nor does it mean we must reject everything a clinician says. We can bring the discussion back to the concern itself: What findings support the explanation? What else has been considered? What should we do if the symptom continues?
For a practical framework, we can use these four questions:
- What is the current assessment? We can ask what the clinician thinks is most likely and why.
- What is still uncertain? We can ask whether a normal result rules out the problem being considered or only makes it less likely.
- What is the plan? We can clarify whether the recommendation is testing, treatment, monitoring, or a referral.
- When should we return? We can agree on what changes or lack of improvement call for another conversation.
These questions help us leave with a plan even when there is no immediate diagnosis. More guidance on preparing for those conversations appears in Dr. Aliabadi’s advice on advocating for yourself at the doctor.
Is self-advocacy enough to secure good care?
No. We can think about women’s health through four connected needs: the confidence to advocate, the education to understand a concern, access to an appropriate clinician, and the ability to afford care. Information helps with the first two. It cannot, by itself, create nearby services, available appointments, insurance coverage, or money for treatment.
That distinction matters when we talk about responsibility. We can prepare carefully and still encounter delays or limited options. We should not interpret difficulty obtaining care as a personal failure. At the same time, learning to state our concerns and ask for a clear plan can help us make the most of the care we can reach.
Breast Cancer Risk: What Dr. Aliabadi’s Experience Teaches Us
Why did Dr. Aliabadi reassess her breast cancer risk after a biopsy?
At 48, Dr. Aliabadi had a mammogram that identified a concerning area in her left breast. A biopsy did not find cancer, but it did find atypical cells. She then underwent a procedure to remove the area. The follow-up message was reassuring: no cancer had been found there, and she was advised to return for imaging in six months.
What changed her understanding was a calculation of her lifetime breast cancer risk. Although she had assessed risk for patients, she had not previously calculated her own. After including the atypical biopsy finding, her estimated lifetime risk was about 37%. That number prompted her to question whether the proposed follow-up was the right course for her.
We should be precise about what the figure meant. It was an estimate of the chance of developing breast cancer over a lifetime, not a diagnosis and not proof that cancer was already present. It also was not a universal instruction to have surgery. It gave Dr. Aliabadi information to bring into a decision about her own care.
If we have had a breast biopsy or another change in our health history, we can ask whether it affects our risk assessment. We can also ask which findings were included in the estimate and how the result might affect the recommended follow-up. For more context on the purpose of these assessments, see Dr. Aliabadi’s explanation of breast cancer risk calculation.
What happened after she sought a different approach?
Dr. Aliabadi wanted to discuss a risk-reducing double mastectomy rather than continue with the follow-up she had been offered. Several clinicians discouraged her from pursuing surgery. She continued seeking an opinion from someone willing to consider her circumstances and preferences.
When she eventually had the operation, the pathology found stage 1 invasive cancer in her right breast. The initial abnormal finding and biopsy had been in her left breast. She has described having very dense breasts and understood that imaging is not perfect. Her central concern was that her questions about risk had repeatedly been dismissed.
We should not turn one person’s outcome into a rule for everyone else. A breast cancer risk estimate does not automatically make surgery the right choice, and a reassuring result does not automatically make further care unnecessary. The lesson is to ask how our risk, results, options, and preferences fit together before making a major decision.
Can we have breast cancer without a family history or known genetic mutation?
Dr. Aliabadi’s experience shows why we should not treat family history or a known mutation as the only reasons to discuss risk. She reported no family history of cancer and no known mutation that predisposed her to cancer. The atypical cells found on biopsy nevertheless changed the result of her risk calculation.
We can ask our clinician to consider our full history rather than relying on a single reassuring detail. Useful questions include:
- Have all relevant biopsy findings been included in my risk assessment?
- Does my breast density affect how we interpret my imaging?
- What does this result tell us, and what does it leave uncertain?
- Would another clinician’s opinion help us evaluate the available choices?
We do not need to answer those questions alone. Their purpose is to start a specific conversation with a professional who can review our records.
What is the difference between a high-risk estimate and a cancer diagnosis?
A risk estimate describes a possibility over time. A diagnosis identifies a condition found through clinical evaluation. Confusing the two can lead us either to panic about an estimate or to disregard information that deserves attention.
We can respond to a higher estimate by asking what it means for our care plan. That conversation may include screening, follow-up, specialist input, and a discussion of benefits and downsides of available options. The appropriate choice depends on details that an estimate alone cannot settle.
In Dr. Aliabadi’s case, the later cancer diagnosis came from pathology after surgery. Her earlier risk calculation did not detect that cancer. It gave her a reason to continue asking whether the original plan adequately reflected her situation.
How We Can Make Appointments More Useful
How should we prepare when a symptom has been dismissed before?
We can make it easier to discuss a concern by bringing a short, concrete account of what has happened. Instead of trying to remember everything during the appointment, we can write down:
- The main concern: the symptom or change we most need to address.
- Its pattern: when it began, whether it has changed, and how often it occurs.
- Its effect: how it interferes with daily life or why it worries us.
- Previous evaluation: tests, results, treatments, and explanations we have already received.
- Our question: what we need to understand before leaving.
We can then ask the clinician to explain the reasoning behind the assessment. If the recommendation is to wait, we can clarify how long to wait and what would change the plan. A clear follow-up agreement is more useful than leaving with the impression that we should simply stop worrying.
What can we say if a clinician attributes our symptoms to stress?
Stress may be part of a clinician’s assessment, but we can still ask how that conclusion was reached. For example, we might say: “We understand stress could contribute. What findings support that explanation, and what should we do if the symptom persists?”
We can also ask whether the symptom calls for further evaluation or whether another type of clinician should assess it. These are ordinary care questions. We are not demanding a particular test or diagnosis. We are asking for a reasoned explanation and a plan.
When is a second opinion reasonable?
We may want another opinion when a major treatment decision is at stake, when we do not understand why a recommendation fits our circumstances, or when a persistent concern remains unresolved. Another clinician may confirm the original plan. They may also explain the choices differently or identify a consideration that has not been addressed.
Before seeking that opinion, we can gather the records that matter: reports, imaging results, pathology findings, and notes from earlier appointments. We can state the question plainly. For instance, are we asking about the meaning of a biopsy result, the options after a risk assessment, or the next step for ongoing symptoms? That focus can make the appointment more productive.
We should also recognize the access problem. Getting another appointment may require time, travel, or money. When those are limited, asking the current clinician to explain the decision and document a follow-up plan is still a meaningful step.
Does advocating for ourselves mean distrusting doctors?
No. We can respect clinical expertise while recognizing that clinicians are human, appointments are busy, and uncertainty is common. Good self-advocacy depends on communication in both directions: we describe what we are experiencing, and the clinician explains how they are evaluating it.
Dr. Aliabadi emphasizes the importance of listening when a patient says something is wrong. We can apply the same principle to ourselves without assuming we know the cause. Our concern deserves attention; the clinical work is to investigate it appropriately.
Why Women’s Health Questions Can Be Hard to Get Answered
Which subjects do we need to discuss more openly?
We need room for clear conversations about PCOS, endometriosis, infertility, pregnancy, menopause, and the symptoms or experiences that can feel difficult to raise. Familiarity with a term is not the same as understanding what it means for our own health.
When information feels confusing or contradictory, we can start with a narrow question rather than trying to master an entire field. What condition is being considered? Which of our symptoms or findings point toward it? What are the next steps, and who can help us understand them?
For example, we should not diagnose ourselves with PCOS or endometriosis simply because a description sounds familiar. We can use what we learn to describe our symptoms more accurately and ask for an appropriate evaluation. We can likewise ask about menopause rather than assuming that an age-based dismissal settles what we are experiencing.
How can we tell whether health information is helping us?
Useful information leaves us with better questions and a clearer sense of what to discuss with a clinician. It helps us distinguish a symptom from a diagnosis, an estimate from a certainty, and a possible option from a recommendation tailored to us.
We should be cautious when a personal story is presented as a treatment plan for everyone. Dr. Aliabadi’s breast cancer experience is powerful precisely because it illustrates the need to consider individual risk and uncertainty. It does not mean we should all choose the same screening schedule or procedure.
A practical way to use health education is to turn it into a short appointment checklist:
- What applies to our own symptoms, history, or results?
- What information is missing?
- Which questions require a clinician to review our records?
- What decision, if any, do we need to make now?
What if we cannot easily access specialist care?
We should be honest about the gap between knowing what to ask and being able to obtain every service we might want. Some of us face long waits, distance from clinicians, or costs we cannot take on. Education does not remove those barriers.
It can still help us make an appointment more focused. We can identify the concern we most need addressed, bring prior results, ask which next step is most important, and request a clear plan for follow-up. If a referral is recommended, we can ask why it matters and what can be done while we wait.
We should not be made to feel that the burden of navigating limited care rests entirely on us. Self-advocacy is one part of health care, not a substitute for access to clinicians or affordable services.
The Perspective Behind the Advocacy
How did Dr. Aliabadi’s background shape her approach to women’s health?
Dr. Aliabadi grew up in Iran during the revolution and the Iran-Iraq war. She has described a childhood marked by restrictions on girls and women, disruption to her family’s life, and nights spent sheltering from air strikes. At 17, she moved with her family to the United States. The opportunities she found there gave new meaning to having a voice and being able to choose a path.
Her career brought another confrontation with being judged rather than heard. Despite strong OB-GYN training at USC, she encountered interviews in which she says prospective employers focused on her appearance and religious background, and one spoke about her in a belittling way. She chose to establish her own practice rather than work in those settings.
We do not need to equate a patient’s experience with hers to understand the connection. Being heard and treated with respect should not depend on status, appearance, or background. That principle informs how she describes caring for patients from many walks of life.
What does Mary Alice Haney bring to the discussion?
Haney spent decades working in fashion, including magazine editorial work, styling, and building a clothing line. After that business ended, she began asking what she wanted her next work to contribute. Her father’s Parkinson’s disease and her own questions about health as she reached 50 sharpened her interest in information that speaks directly to women’s experiences.
We can recognize a useful perspective in that shift. We do not have to work in medicine to notice when a health question has not been explained clearly or when access to attentive care differs from person to person. Haney’s focus is on making specialist conversations understandable and useful beyond an individual appointment.
Why pair medical expertise with personal experience?
Clinical knowledge can explain findings, uncertainty, and options. Personal experience can show what it feels like to receive conflicting advice, struggle to be heard, or make a decision under pressure. We need both, while keeping their roles distinct: one person’s experience can raise an important question, but it cannot determine the right care for everyone.
That balance is especially important in women’s health. We want concerns to be taken seriously without turning every symptom into an alarming prediction. We want understandable information without pretending that a short explanation replaces an individual medical assessment.
A Practical Next Step
What can we do before our next health appointment?
We can begin with one page of notes. At the top, write the concern we most want addressed. Beneath it, list the relevant symptoms or results, what has already been tried, and the question we need answered. If we are discussing a risk estimate, we can bring the report and ask which details went into it. If we are discussing a persistent symptom, we can describe its pattern and ask what follow-up would look like.
Before leaving, we can make sure we understand three things: the current assessment, the next step, and when to revisit the plan. We may not leave with every answer. We should be able to leave knowing what happens next.
That is the most useful form of self-advocacy: informed, specific, and collaborative. We can take our concerns seriously, ask for explanations, and continue the conversation when an important question remains open.
Concerned About Your Health? Talk to Dr. Aliabadi
Dr. Aliabadi is an expert OB/GYN who is knowledgeable in all aspects of women’s health and well-being. Dr. Aliabadi and her caring, supportive staff are available to support you through PCOS, endometriosis, menopause, childbirth, infertility, or routine gynecological care. We invite you to establish care with Dr. Aliabadi. Call us at (844) 863-6700 or
Frequently Asked Questions
What if a test is normal but we still feel that something is wrong?
We can ask what the test was designed to detect, what its result does not rule out, and what the plan is if our concern continues. A reassuring result may be valuable without answering every question. We should discuss persistent or changing symptoms with a qualified clinician.
Does a high lifetime breast cancer risk estimate mean we have cancer?
No. A lifetime risk estimate describes a calculated chance over time; it is not a diagnosis. We can ask a clinician how the estimate was calculated and whether it changes the recommended screening or follow-up discussion for us.
Can we request a second opinion without rejecting our current doctor?
Yes. We can seek another explanation of a complex result or major decision while continuing to value the care we have received. Bringing relevant records and a specific question can help the second clinician assess our situation.
What should we ask if we are told to come back later?
We can ask why waiting is recommended, when we should return, and what changes should prompt us to make contact sooner. The aim is to understand the follow-up plan rather than leave its timing or purpose unclear.
Is self-advocacy a replacement for medical advice?
No. Self-advocacy helps us communicate and take part in decisions. Diagnosis, screening, and treatment choices require a medical professional to consider our individual history and circumstances.
