Mother's Day Funny Quotes: Suspicious Silence for Moms

It really is true, silence isn’t golden… it’s very, very suspicious when you have kids.

For Mother’s Day I wanted to share these funny mom quotes from our friends at Reader’s Digest. I hope they make you grin, though you may be grinning through some serious sleep deprivation. :)

Happy Mother’s Day, may you be appreciated as you so deservingly should be! Don’t hesitate to tell us about it in the comments area below.

Love, Thaïs

Ignorance is never bliss for a mom

silence is golden — Sure, they might be trying to surprise you by silently making all the beds and leaving a chocolate on the pillows. Or, they might be trying to hide from you because they jumped on all the beds and smeared chocolate on the pillows. It’s probably the latter.

Russian roulette, mom style

But do you have to tell your neighbors six times?

when your mom voice is so loud — Kids know exactly how far they’ve pushed you over the edge from your tone of voice. The only question now is whether you’re the type who yells or the type who gets scarily quiet.

I simply adore doing dishes

yes please get a new cup — There’s nothing like getting to the end of the day and having to put 27 glasses in the dishwasher, even though there are only four people in your family.

Take your “me time” however you can get it

sitting alone in the bathroom — Are you laughing on the floor from these funny mom quotes yet? Luxury used to mean a fluffy bathrobe and an hour-long massage. These days it means getting a moment to yourself and eating peanut butter spread straight out of the jar with your finger—yet this makes you happier than any spa day ever did.

Don’t worry, you’ll be able to wear high heels again… eventually

before, I only allowed — Pre-children, stilettos were sexy footwear. Now those shoes are weapons or costumes, not to mention a hazard on wood floors.

Sesame Street is legit hilarious

toddler is sweeping the kitchen — Small kids love nothing more than a broom, a vacuum, or a duster. Now, if only they could actually use them to clean and not make more messes. Of course, you can always try it together—doing chores is one of the 23 ways to bond with your kids.

Toddlers can be terrorists

i feel personally victimized — It’s a triple whammy—not only do you have to endure being pelted with various food items on the regular, but you also have to clean up the mess, then comfort your kid when they realize they no longer have any food to eat, regardless of the fact that they did this to themselves.

I do not SNORT!

i hope people believe my toddler — Next case scenario: People will think your child is posh and is a zoology prodigy—at least until she tells them haughtily that “pigs do not like to jump in muddy puddles.”

They do say being a mom increases your capacity for love

it's official: I'm in love — Think about it: It’s an automatic vacuum that helps out (without you ever having to ask), does its job thoroughly, then puts itself in bed. Can you say the same about anyone (or thing) else in your house?

Sorry, I’m done “adulting” for the day

I hate when I'm waiting for mom to cook — Children long to be adults, while adults long to be children again. It’s the (vicious) circle of life.

The #1 thing parents hear most often is…

22 quote — And the worst part about it is that it’s 100 percent true.

Why aren’t drive-thru parks a thing?

you know you're a mom when... — Getting kids in and out of cars, especially if you’re wrangling more than one, is like doing advanced math. With the pen in the wrong hand. And no paper. (Because someone squirted a juice box all over the paper.)

It’s 9 a.m.—have you stepped on a Lego yet?

parenting is one obstacle after another — Cleaning a house with kids in it is like shoveling in a blizzard.

Last call happens at 4 p.m.

I will drink you under the table — You know your party days are truly over when you can find six sippy cups in under a minute, but don’t even remember what a shot glass looks like.

Snips and snails and… YouTube fails?

To be fair, some boys can be super dramatic and some girls can be daredevils, but there’s a reason the stereotype exists. This is why every mom of boys tenses up when she hears “Hey mom, watch this!”—boys are almost never showing you the flowers they craft while sitting quietly at the table.

I Do Not Engage in Snorting!

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Quirky Quotes for Mother's Day and Beyond